Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Across The Great Divide...NOT...

My sister's 2011 Ford Fiesta SFE.  Why Ford did not equip this model with Dean Moon's "Moon Disc" wheel covers to reduce air turbulence, further improving gas milage, is a mystery.  It's not like SFE drivers need to cool their brakes.

It seems to me that there are two kinds of people in this world: car people and not car people.

My sister and I share one automotive trait: we prefer to buy 'em new and drive 'em until they drop.  It's the way to minimize ownership problems while maximizing value.  It captures the years that have both low depreciation and maintenance costs.

Otherwise, we live in not-so-parallel universes.  I still remember a furious argument we had about 35 years ago when we were young adults.  I visited her in Ann Arbor, MI, which is a university town, with wall-to-wall 10-speeds.  She rode.  Like politics and religion, conveyances is a subject that should never be discussed in polite company.  She started in with "bicyclists have just as much right to the road as cars," and I totally lost it.  I offered to punt her onto a tree-lawn if I encountered her butt sticking up in the air.  I still regret my tone that day, if not the general sentiment regarding bicycles in the roadway.  (It makes me laugh to see Harley riders holding up 10-speeds on the Dragon's downhills.  They need to use the pull-offs.  On the uphills, the 10-speeds should use the pull-offs.)

Anyway.  My sister has a Green mentality and a Scottish soul.  If there is anything she hates more than polluting the air, it's spending money on a car.  Money spent on a car is money that could have been spent on something useful, pleasant, or both.  A bit over a year ago, she called me for advice on her next new car.  She had already done her homework, and told me it was down to a choice between a Honda Fit and a Ford Fiesta.  "Perfect finalists for you," I replied, "it's a difference without a distinction, a coin toss.  Drive 'em both and pick the one you like."  She felt that the Fiesta was peppier, and she could see out the back of it better.  (This is important, because she gets passed a lot.)

So the Fiesta it was.  She asked me if she should get the Super Fuel Economy package.  I don't recall everything in it now, but it was basically a "smart" e.c.u. through which the 6-speed automatic and the engine talk to each other.  It maintains the lowest revs in the highest gear, shifting up or down to minimize engine load.  The system "knows" when it should shift to a lower gear,  reluctantly, to increase engine revs.  The SFE package also included a body kit to clean up the under-hood aero.  I replied, "Why not?  Can't hurt, might help."  She's had the car for over a year now, and gets a bit south of 40 m.p.g. around town and a bit north of it on Interstates.  I have never seen close to 40 m.p.g. in my cars.  I can't imagine a car worth driving that could achieve it.

Speaking of which: I drove my sister's car to the supermarket and back in Gatlinburg last summer.  Gutless.  Too much body roll.  Too much understeer (she'll get 70,000 miles out of those gripless tires).  Her life was spread throughout the car: road maps, note pads, motel reservation slips, receipts, sunglasses, tissues.  When I drive, I drive.  A place for everything, and everything in its place.  And, as Captain Lone Star says in Spaceballs, "Take only what you need to SURVIVE."  When my sister takes a road trip, she essentially moves her life from one place to another.

 Which brings up another point.  My sister and I literally cannot ride with each other.  Literally is a word overused by young people when they mean "metaphorically."  I mean literally.  If I'm in the passenger's seat, I'm offended by her misuse of the car and timid driving.  If she's in the passenger's seat, she's offended by my aggressive use of the car and the firm conviction that I'm going to get her killed.  (Neither of us has had a serious accident in 50 years of driving, knock wood).

She recently completed a 2600-mile road trip inside of a month that covered 5 States, with days and even almost a week between wheel sessions.  She can do 600 miles as easily as I can.  She's world-class when it comes to "no comfort stops unless a gas or food stop is necessary too."  When she left Philadelphia, headed back home, I told her "Don't forget to enjoy the Pennsylvania Turnpike: it's a great run."  I didn't mention passing left-lane bandits on the right, in turns, which is kinda the high point of it for me.  (In the mountains, the Pennsylvania Turnpike is a kind of Interstate Dragon: the curves feed one into another.)  When she got home, she said "I hate that road: trucks were passing me in curves."

I love my sister dearly.  I can advise her on car stuff without trying to make her see it my way.  We both would love to visit Quebec City again.  But damned if I can figure out how we'd do it in the same car.  Before posting this, I showed her the text.  She said "I'm Pilote's sister, and I approved this message."

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